His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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