No awkward lesbian experiences without me
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
