i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Randomize
