ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
You need a sexual gate keeper
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
