Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
