so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
My breasts were aching with rage.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Randomize
