So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Randomize
