she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
