We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
