So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
