I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
