2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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