walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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