I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
