Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
