dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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