so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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