Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
How does it feel to date your dad?
I forgot wine drunk hurts
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