I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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