Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
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