i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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