I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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