I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Randomize
