I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
