My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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