Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
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