and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Randomize
