Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
