sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
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