She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
My underwear smells like fireworks.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Randomize
