doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I would ride that face into the sunset
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize
