i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
