And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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