my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
