apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
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