not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
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