Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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