found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
