i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
