i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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