im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Randomize
