Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Randomize
