His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
