You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
