what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Randomize
