I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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