Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
