i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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