1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
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