You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
